Talking With Ally.

I have been very careful in what I tell people these days. Not even sure if I should be talking anymore. Man I really am tired of talking shit haha. Why am I even trying for? As in you don't know that the same shit will keep on happening. Same thing over and over and over again. I'm tired. I really am. Why do I still have to breathe every single day?

I was reading a book called 'Suicide Note' today and I have just been thinking? Since when have I been thinking of death as an escape road? I wish I remembered it well, I wish I have a solid answer for that. It just seems natural at some point, to think of death I mean. I thought I would remembered all the feelings that lead to me thinking about that. Reading the book made me think of myself a lot more. Jeff was confused why he attempted and I thought oh wow this guy is dumb and said I know why I want to but the more I think about it, the more no reason of it that I can't recall anymore. It just seems natural to me. Everything doesn't feel wrong anymore. The book questioned why it's wrong to take your own life and I feel more sadden that I agree. The thing is, my mom was talking about her friend who had cancer and was so positive of wanting to fight and live. And how she said that most of the sick people wish to be healthy which made me question myself, how lo...