Talking With Ally.

Hey, it's been awhile since I write anything honestly. I wanted to, I always do but somehow I couldn't make myself to do it. Not sure what's stopping me other than myself but probably because I don't want to think or acknowledge stuff in general. Although I know I shouldn't push things away and confront it with myself in order to let me feel things but here we are again, with the same habit. I guess I'm stuck. I don't have any motivation to do anything, no sense of anything. I don't know, I feel useless and unworthy that is. This is shit, what am i even doing honestly? I want to vanish I supposed.